Meet Kink Doctor
Kink Doctor (KD) is also known as Dulcinea Pitagora, a queer/poly/kink-identified, female-bodied, gender fluid/non-binary, licensed psychotherapist and sex therapist practicing in New York City. KD’s practice focuses on providing affirmative, sex positive therapy to those with atypical sexual and gender expressions and identifications as well as relationship structures. KD has also been a member of and mentor in the NYC kink scene for over a decade, and formerly worked as a professional dominatrix.
KD holds a Master of Arts (MA) in Psychology from the New School for Social Research, a Master of Social Work (MSW) from New York University, a Master of Education (MEd) and a Doctoral degree (PhD) in clinical sexology from Widener University, and is an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST). KD is an adjunct professor of sexual health at New York University. KD is often quoted in the press as an expert in BDSM and sexuality (see below); has published articles in peer-reviewed journals (see below); and has presented at conferences on the topics of alternative sexuality and gender diversity. Pitagora conducts research, lectures, and seminars pertaining to these communities; is the founder of ManhattanAlternative.com, an alternative lifestyle affirmative provider listing; and is a co-organizer of the AltSex NYC Conference and Sexuality Speaker Series.
KD talks to EJ Johnson about gender identity on the E! reality TV show, EJNYC.
KD is quoted by Tracey Anne Duncan in her Mic article on the importance of being vocal about triggers in order to have good sex after trauma: https://www.mic.com/p/having-good-sex-after-trauma-means-being-vocal-about-your-triggers-18752137
KD is interviewed by Tracey Anne Duncan for her Mic article on the recent findings in research on sexting: https://www.mic.com/p/why-do-we-sext-its-about-more-than-just-lust-says-new-research-18656159
KD talks about sex magick and medical marijuana on Domina Dia Dynasty’s and Sophie Saint Thomas’s fantastic SexWeedMagick podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/sex-magick-gender-medical-marijuana-kink-doctor/id1470341460?i=1000446815321
KD is quoted in Tracey Anne Duncan’s article for Mic about non-binary sex toys and sexuality: https://www.mic.com/p/the-future-of-sex-toys-is-non-binary-this-vibrator-is-just-the-start-18223503
KD speaks with Tracey Anne Duncan for Mic about the ins and outs of ethical sexual exploration: https://www.mic.com/p/how-to-explore-your-sexuality-minimize-the-emotional-fallout-for-others-18198538
KD tells Erika W. Smith about the importance of properly storying sex toys in her article for Refinery29: https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/sex-toy-storage-tips
KD speaks with Tracey Anne Duncan for Mic again, this time about the realness of post-Pride depression: https://www.mic.com/p/post-pride-depression-is-so-real-for-lgbtq-people-who-have-to-go-back-to-real-life-on-july-1-18166721
KD and Tracey Anne Duncan talk about disclosing kinkiness, erotic asphyxiation, the being redundant and obvious about consent for Mic: https://www.mic.com/p/how-to-talk-about-kink-with-a-new-partner-because-it-doesnt-have-to-be-awkward-18159768
KD and their former colleague Justine Cross spoke with Carrie Weisman for her FatherlyHQ article on BDSM for beginners: https://www.fatherly.com/love-money/bdsm-bondage-what-couples-should-know/
KD’s spoke with Dr. Timaree Schmidt on Sex with Timaree (Podcast Edition) about their research on straight men who enjoy receiving anal sex, how annoying IRBs can be, among many other things: https://sexwithtimareepodcast.wordpress.com/2019/04/24/ep356-dr-dulcinea-pitagora-returns-sex-with-timaree-kinkdoctor-dapitagora-altsexnyc/
KD’s input on “Best Sex Advice for a Healthy Sex Life” is included in Marriage.com‘s Expert Roundup: https://www.marriage.com/advice/physical-intimacy/best-sex-advice-for-a-healthy-sex-life/
KD was interviewed in this entertaining and informative article for Bedsider on the what, why, how, and when of opening up your relationship: https://www.bedsider.org/features/1256-polyamory-and-open-relationships-should-you-try-ethical-non-monogamy
KD was asked to contribute thoughts for this piece on the potential plights and pleasures of auto-fellatio by Mark Hay for Men’s Health: https://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/a27307634/how-to-suck-your-own-dick//
KD collaborated with Grant Stoddard on this article for BestLife about SO MANY roleplays and how they can add some spice to your sex life: https://bestlifeonline.com/role-play-ideas/
KD gave their interpretation of a study’s statistics on who’s having the most sex over age 50 and how in Ian Kerner’s article for CNN: https://www.cnn.com/2019/03/22/health/sex-partners-over-age-50-kerner/index.html
KD was interviewed for this great article on taking dating sabbaticals by Aly Semigran for Well+Good: https://www.wellandgood.com/good-advice/taking-a-break-from-dating
KD is was quoted in a very cute and informative article on spanking by Carolyn Yates for Nylon: https://nylon.com/spanking-sex-guide
KD has a conversation with Tristan Taormino, the host of Sex Out Loud radio show, about being out as kinky as a therapist, the commonalities between sex work and psychotherapy, and the AltSex NYC Conference, among many other things in this hour long convo: https://www.voiceamerica.com/episode/112496/dulcinea-pitagora-on-being-the-kink-doctor
KD was quoted in this fun article by Carrie Weisman for FatherlyHQ, “How Did “Daddy” Became So Sexual?”: https://www.fatherly.com/love-money/how-did-daddy-became-so-sexual/
KD was asked to describe the kinky edge play aspects of deep throating in Carrie Weisman’s article for Men’s Health: https://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/a25576582/deep-throating
KD had a conversation with Grant Stoddard for his Vice piece about the best and worst sex games: http://vice.com/en_us/article/439awm/four-types-sex-games
KD was cited alongside Charlie Glickman in another article about anal by Kasandra Brabaw, driving it home once again for Refinery29: https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/anal-sex-poop-hygiene
KD was quoted in this article on temperature play by Kasandra Brabaw for Refinery29: https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/temperature-play-sex-tips
KD had a whole lot of fun talking about the ins and outs of anal with Kasandra Brabaw for Refinery29: https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/how-to-prep-for-anal-sex
KD was interviewed and quoted by Grant Stoddard in this cleverly written article about the psychosexology of foot fetishists for Vice’s Tonic: https://tonic.vice.com/en_us/article/kzy443/foot-fetish-explanation
KD gave input along with other sex therapists and experts in Ian Kerner’s CNN article on whether one’s number of sexual partners matters, and why there tend to be inaccurate reporting among genders: https://www.cnn.com/2018/09/06/health/number-of-sex-partners-kerner/index.html
KD was quoted by Kasandra Brabaw for Refinery29 in an article on hook ups that’s good and good for you: https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/do-over-first-college-hookup
KD is quoted by Grant Stoddard for Vice’s Tonic in what is likely the most eloquently written and entertaining article on scrotal inflation ever published: https://tonic.vice.com/en_us/article/8xbq5x/men-injecting-scrotums-with-saline-to-get-huge-balls
KD was interviewed by Shawn Setaro for his Complex piece on FOSTA/SESTA, “Is the War on Sex Work the New War on Drugs?”: https://www.complex.com/life/2018/07/war-on-sex-work-new-war-on-drugs
KD has a stimulating conversation with Dr. Zhana Vrangalova and Joe Pardavila on their The Science of Sex podcast about consensual non-consent in BDSM and the difference between kink and abuse, among many, many other things. Another long one, better grab some popcorn: https://soundcloud.com/user-252312803/kinkvabuse
KD is interviewed at length by Rolf Potts for his Deviate podcast, in which they cover a range of BDSM 101 topics, interspersed with a healthy dose of personal disclosure on KD’s part. It’s an hour plus so get comfy: https://rolfpotts.com/podcast/dulcinea-pitagora/
KD is quoted in an article Carolyn Yates wrote for Autostraddle about the joys and pitfalls of noisy sex, and how to embrace and/or muffle it: https://www.autostraddle.com/how-to-soundproof-for-kinky-lesbian-sex-417105/
KD was interviewed and quoted by Kristin Hugo for Newsweek on the devastation that legislation targeting sex workers is already causing: http://www.newsweek.com/people-are-going-die-sex-workers-devastated-after-backpage-shutdown-876486
KD talked about the science of birthday sex in this article Jamie Kravitz wrote for Elite Daily, and revealed whether or not it lives up to the hype: https://www.elitedaily.com/p/birthday-sex-is-ideally-better-than-regular-sex-but-does-it-live-up-to-the-hype-8527167
KD’s first appearance on the Sex 2.0 podcast, in which they discuss kinky sex in all its glorious variety, including good vs bad shame, plus KD comes out of yet another closet: https://www.sex2point0.com/blog/2018/4/6/episode-23-what-is-kink-good-shame-vs-bad-shame-with-dr-kink-aka-therapist-dulcinea-pitagora
KD is quoted by Sara Jore-Pivet for French Marie Claire on the pleasure of pain in an article about spanking, “La fessée thérapie ou le lâcher-prise option BDSM”: http://www.marieclaire.fr/la-fessee-therapie-ou-le-lacher-prise-option-bdsm,1251007.asp
In an interview by Carrie Weisman for FatherlyHQ, KD answers the burning question, “Why do people love to be spanked during sex?”:
KD talks about the 3 C’s—Communication, Creativity, and Consent—in Marriage.com‘s “Experts Reveal: How to Deal with Incompatible Sex Drives?”:
KD’s two cents on the Cruz porn scandal are quoted in Kate Feldman’s “Ted Cruz and the Mainstream Appeal of Incest Porn” for the New York Daily News: http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/ted-cruz-twitter-mainstream-appeal-incest-porn-article-1.3494416
Break Through Radio Today breaking news: Female tops exist! Taia Hanlin’s”What Americans Are Doing in Bed May Surprise You” includes KD’s take on what’s good and bad about sexuality research: http://www.btrtoday.com/read/featured/what-americans-are-doing-in-bed-may-surprise-you/
KD’s perspective on the benefits of spanking in Gigi Engle’s “7 Things You Didn’t Know about Spanking Therapy” for Marie Claire: http://www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/a28396/spanking-therapy/
KD’s response to “Ask a Sexologist: Are women ‘less promiscuous’ than men because of biology, or societal oppression?” in Slutever’s Sex + Love Advice column: http://slutever.com/are-women-less-promiscuous-than-men-biology-science/
KD’s interview with Dr. Michael Aaron, the author of Psychology Today’s Standard Deviations, on what inspired the creation of Kink Doctor: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/standard-deviations/201706/the-doctor-is-in-new-web-series-explores-the-world-kink
KD’s conversation with Ignite Intimacy podcast’s Ms. LAH about how KD came to be an alternative sexuality affirmative therapist, and creating shame-free spaces for kink, poly, trans, and LGBQ-identified people: http://lauraaiisha.com/2017/34-sexuality-psychology-in-nyc-with-dulcinea-pitagora
KD’s perspective on monogamy versus non-monogamy in Ian Kerner’s “Rethinking Monogamy Today” for CNN: http://www.cnn.com/2017/04/12/health/monogamy-sex-kerner/index.html
KD’s research team debunks misconceptions about BDSM, and presents findings in“Beyond 50 Shades Darker: Debunking Popular Myths about BDSM” for Psychology Today’s Standard Deviations: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/standard-deviations/201702/beyond-50-shades-darker-debunking-popular-myths-about-bdsm
KD comments on parenting while kinky in Sophie Saint Thomas’s “How to Stay Kinky After You Have Kids” for VICE Magazine: http://www.vice.com/read/how-to-still-be-kinky-once-you-have-kids?utm_source=vicefbus
KD’s conversation with Irish RTÉ2fm Radio’s Chris and Ciara on equal opportunity fluid bonding and other ways that kink can be bonding: https://soundcloud.com/rte2fm/chris-and-ciara-sex-therapist-dulcinea-pitagora-on-fetishes
Break Through Radio’s Taia Hanlin quotes KD’s take on the subject of “daddy issues”: http://www.btrtoday.com/read/themeweek/self/926-article/
KD’s perspective on tattooing in a kinky context is quoted in Sophie Saint Thomas’ VICE Magazine article, “Meet the Kinky Couples Who Get Turned on by Tattooing Each Other”: http://www.vice.com/read/the-kink-of-ink-when-fetish-friendly-couples-incorporate-tattooing-in-their-sex-lives
KD’s two cents about how homeless people are all too often desexualized in Taia Hanlin’s Break Through Radio article, “Karma Week: Yes, Homeless People Have Sex Too”: http://www.btrtoday.com/read/themeweek/karma/monday-karma-week/
KD’s perspective on adult breastfeeding (ABF) is quoted in Kellylouise Delaney’s Huffington Post article, “Adult Breastfeeding is More Common than You Think”: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/adult-breastfeeding-is-more-common-than-you-think_us_57894b6de4b0b107a240f8e3
The therapy session that EJ Johnson had with KD on his reality TV show EJNYC was called a must-see moment on E! News: http://www.eonline.com/shows/ejnyc/news/776448/ejnyc-recap-ej-johnson-explores-his-gender-identity-a-lingerie-slumber-party-and-more-must-see-moments
E! News reports on KD’s conversation with EJ Johnson about his feelings surrounding his gender identity: http://www.eonline.com/shows/ejnyc/news/776344/ej-johnson-admits-he-thought-about-transitioning-after-caitlyn-jenner-came-out
KD has a conversation with Jack Irona, the host of The Swinger Lifestyle radio show, about the intersection of kink and swinging, whether sexual addiction is a real thing, and the intellectual side of kink:
KD’s talk on the intersection of kink and poly at the 1st annual AltSex NYC Conference is referenced in Debra Soh’s New York Magazine article, “3 Insights about Kinky and Nonmonogamous Sex”: http://nymag.com/scienceofus/2016/04/3-insights-about-kinky-and-nonmonogamous-sex.html
GO Magazine proclaims, “The Kink Doctor Is In”: http://www.dulcineapitagora.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/GOmag_Travel_Issue_2015_p38-39-1.jpg
National Coalition for Sexual Freedom Guest Blog Post, “Disclosure and Outness as a Therapist with Intersecting Atypical Identifications”: https://ncsfreedom.org/press/blog/item/guest-blog-disclosure-and-outness-as-a-therapist-with-intersecting-atypical-identifications.html
Brad Sagarin references the mechanisms that reinforce consent as outlined in KD’s paper on consent versus coercion in his article for The Guardian, “Never tried BDSM? Go on, it’s good for you”: https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2015/feb/09/bdsm-good-for-you-fifty-shades-of-grey-relationship
National Coalition for Sexual Freedom Guest Blog Post, “The BDSM Power Exchange: Subversion, Transcendence, Sexual (R)evolution”: https://ncsfreedom.org/press/blog/item/guest-blog-the-bdsm-power-exchange-subversion-transcendence-sexual-revolution.html
Pitagora, D. (in press). The Influence of BDSM-Orientation on Shame and Heteronormativity in Anoreceptive Heterosexual Males. Journal of Humanistic Psychology.
Pitagora, D. A. (2019). The role of BDSM orientation on heteronormativity and shame in anoreceptive heterosexual males (Doctoral dissertation). Retrieved from Proquest. (13814421)
Pitagora, D. A. (2019). The Case of P: Internalized Heterosexism and the Submissive Heterosexual Cisgender Male. In S. Sennott, D. Chandler, & D. Constantinides (Eds.) Sex Therapy with Erotically Marginalized Clients. New York, NY: Routledge.
Wise, K. & Pitagora, D. (2019). The Evolution of Sexuality during Gender Transition. In G. Jacobson, J. C. Neimira, & K. J. Violeta (Eds.) Sex, Sexuality, and Trans Identities: Clinical Guidance for Psychotherapists and Counselors. London, UK: Jessica Kingsley Publishers.
Pitagora, D. (2017). No Pain, No Gain? Therapeutic and Relational Benefits of Subspace in BDSM Contexts. Journal of Positive Sexuality, 3(3), 44-54.
Pitagora, D. (2016). The Kink-Poly Confluence: Relationship Intersectionality in Marginalized Communities. Sexual and Relationship Therapy, 31(3), 391-405.
Pitagora, D. (2015). Intimate Partner Violence in Sadomasochistic Relationships. Sexual and Relationship Therapy, 31(1), 95-108.
Paul, L., Rubin, L., Pitagora, D., Tworecke, A., Brown, B. (2014). Support needs and resources of sexual minority women with breast cancer. Psycho-Oncology, 23(5), 578-584.
Joseph, J.A., Pitagora, D., Tworecke, A., & Roberts, K.E. (2013). Peering into gaps in the DSM: Student perspectives on gender and informing education. The Society for International Education Journal: Engaging with Difference, Gender and Sexuality in Education, 7(1), 104-127.
Pitagora, D. (2013). Consent vs. coercion: BDSM interactions highlight a fine but immutable line. New School Psychology Bulletin, 10(1), 27-36.